I am a convert to Judaism. I understand that this means the Jewish people are my new family. But what about my biological family? If, G‑d forbid, my father passes away, do I sit shivah for him? He is not Jewish, and I am.

Answer

When you converted, you didn’t just join the Jewish club; you were born as a Jewish soul. Spiritually speaking, you are now a child of Abraham and Sarah, the first Jewish couple. Your Hebrew name proudly reads “the child of Abraham and Sarah.”

But let’s be clear. Conversion may redefine your soul, but it doesn’t erase your past. You didn’t arrive by stork. There were real, flesh-and-blood parents who brought you into this world, fed you, raised you, worried about you, and probably still do.

So which family counts? Biological or spiritual?

Both.

From a technical perspective, a convert is considered like a newborn with no legal familial ties. That means the formal obligations of mourning, like shivah and Kaddish, are not required for a non-Jewish parent.

But Jewish law is not just technical. It is sensitive to the human reality. Mourning one’s parents is a healthy expression of grief. Honoring them is an act of simple decency. The gratitude you owe them didn't get washed off in the mikvah.

So while you are not obligated to sit shivah, you may observe some shivah practices, provided that it does not cause you to miss out on any mitzvot such as Torah study. You could also say Kaddish if you wish. These practices can serve to acknowledge loss, express respect, and say thank you to the people who gave you life. Even if you are Jewish and they are not.

Look at it this way: Abraham and Sarah gave you your Jewish soul. But your parents gave you the life that led to choosing that soul.

So no, you don’t have to sit shivah. But if you want to, if your heart tells you that this is how you honor your father, then not only is it permitted, it may be the right thing to do.

And I suspect Abraham and Sarah would be very proud of that.

Sources:
Maimonides, Hilchot Mamrim 5:11.
R’ Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe YD 2:130.

R’ Ovadiah Yosef, Yechaveh Daat 6:60.
The Rebbe, Likkutei Sichot 5, p. 154.